Why do feelings fade away

Most people have underlying false beliefs that, when triggered in their relationship , lead to these fears that lead to controlling, protective, or avoidant behavior. Some of these false beliefs might be:. The fears of rejection and engulfment, as well as the resulting controlling behaviors, are fueled by these false beliefs.

Acting out with any form of controlling behavior resulting from these beliefs will inevitably erode love. The key to keeping love alive is the newness that comes from being open to learning about yourself and your partner.

When you are each open to learning about your fears and the underlying false beliefs that fuel your fears, your relationship becomes an ever-evolving one that continually brings newness into the relationship. Keeping your heart open, learning to take responsibility for your own feelings and fears, and supporting each other in healing these fears is what keeps love alive. This openness to learning not only allows couples to help each other heal, but each member also evolves in their ability to see and value themselves and each other.

They learn to love themselves and are then able to share their love with each other rather than always trying to have control over getting love and avoiding being controlled. Aliveness comes from the new learning that continually occurs in loving relationships when each partner is open to learning to take responsibility for healing the fears and false beliefs that lead to controlling behavior.

Couples stay madly in love when they continually learn about loving themselves and each other, and unpacking those false beliefs is the first step. Want your passion for wellness to change the world? Become A Functional Nutrition Coach! Enroll today to join our upcoming live office hours. Our FREE doctor-approved gut health guide. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox! You wanted the other person to be happy and you did what you could to make it happen.

You grew those love feelings by spending time together, taking new adventures together, and you talked until the sun came up! But, we cannot abandon the romance! Get a sitter and go out for dinner and a movie. Take a weekend getaway to a new destination. Bring her flowers and a card. Buy him tickets to the big game. Leave the cell phones at home and take a brisk walk together through the neighborhood and talk. Get to know one another again.

Reconnect sexually…and often! Like the friction of two sticks can cause a spark, sexual intimacy can erupt the passion in a relationship. Flirt, kiss, hold hands, put effort into foreplay, and spend more time and energy in the bedroom or wherever else.

The warmth from that heated passion will pour out into the rest of your interactions, drawing you too together like love magnets. When we speak about "love fading", we're actually talking about passionate love specifically. But some people think that once the dopaminergic thrill of passionate love is gone, the relationship is over.

The relationship can continue — and even thrive — but in order to do so it's important to understand that being with the same person every day will mean that the passionate love fades. But that doesn't mean that there's no reward in that familiarity. Even though settling into companionate love has its benefits as passion fades, that doesn't mean that dopamine is totally off the table. To keep that spark, create dopamine-driven experiences that you can enjoy together. And, because dopamine is triggered by doing something new, it's important to keep the novelty alive in your relationship.

The good news? It doesn't all have to be daredevil stunts though those certainly will do the trick , it can be anything new. Tolerance levels for mistakes are pretty high when you first start dating someone, and the rose-tinted spectacles can be a bit of a blessing in those early days.

You might find that minor problems irritate you more now, and it may be harder to forgive mistakes or misjudgments. Things change naturally within any relationship, but they normally plateau into an easy, enjoyable medium rather than feelings of annoyance and, often, spite.

Either you shut it down, or you talk to your partner. Your partner has probably picked up on the shift in your behavior and you owe it to them to explain why this is the case. Reverse the situation. You start trying to interest your partner more, be it through dressing up, trying new things, or putting yourself out there more.

Not only are you going to panic about what this means for your relationship, your self-confidence is going to plummet dramatically.

Feeling undesirable and rejected is going to start affecting all aspects of your life and will only drive a wedge further between you and your partner.